Quake Deathmatch

You press your back tight against the wall. You're completely in the dark with nothing but a small laser sighting light to give you away. Your work colleague walks in to pick up a box of nails. You wait for your moment when he is the right position, your finger ready to pull the trigger at the moment. One wrong movement and it could all end in tears. He takes a step back and you squeeze the trigger hard. Whoosh-bang; a rocket fires out of your launcher and detonates against his torso. His body rips into a multitude of pieces with a satisfying squelch. You take one moment to look down at his head lying detached on the floor before picking up his backpack full of weapons and ammo before moving on to seek out your boss.

This is the game of deathmatch quake. The rules are simple - get revenge in the most satisfying way possible. Your best mate has still got the CD that you lent him months ago. There is only one solution to this - beat the shit out of him. Hey it's okay, he'll return to life a few moments later, ready to die again - it's all harmless fun! There's something about this game that makes it far more interesting to kill your colleague for nicking your post-it notes. Much more stress-relieving than 'accidentally' pouring coffee over him during your lunch break.

Of course you could play against strangers across the Internet. Every one of you playing at that time thinks that they are the best quake player ever to have been born, only one of you will prove it. Chances are that you have never played any of them before. You do not know their tactics. Will they camp, will they charge, will they run away or will they keep their distance and snipe from long range? You'll have to find this out.

Suddenly the server announces a new level "DM2" - great, your favourite. You know all the secrets, you know where to hide and where to run to. You know your way around it like you owned the place. You have the confidence to rocket-jump your way into out of reach places. You start off in a good place, you pick up a rocket launcher early and take out a couple of runts fighting amongst themselves with shotguns. The frag-limit is only 10 so you know you'll have to work fast. You pick up 200 health and quad damage. You pin-point a player far below and take him out with a single shot. You quickly jump across to bump up your health and the guy you just killed re-emerges to suffer an embarrassing double-whammy. With 6 to go you move on fast, you receive a birthday present - Fat Bobby Joy falls into lava and you have just enough time to finish him off. You do him a favour by saving his embarrassment of killing himself - he thanks you in a quick message. With a great sense of desire you charge forth and take out a further 4 players.

Things go quiet for a while and then Mad-dog steps out in front of you. A quick check tells you that he too only needs one kill to win. You soon realise he only has a nailgun. With a nasty grin you take aim and then squeeze the trigger of your rocket launcher - click - oh no, out of rockets! With your back against a wall, you fight like a dog with a double-barrelled shotgun but fall down to just 5 health. You know it's all over but suddenly Mad-dog drops to the floor. You know you didn't kill him, you'd have won the game if you did. You look into the distance and see Fat Bobby Joy. With practice-trained instincts, you pick up Mad-dog's pack full of rockets and like lightning, load the launcher and fire a single shot towards Fat Bobby Joy. The last thing you see before the final frags list is a mass of Fat boy bits covered in blood. You bear a smile as you read your name at the top of the leaderboard - truly the greatest quake player around!